• Keith Walsh

Best & Worst Places To Get Stuck In Quarantine


So the worlds pretty much ending as the Coronavirus is spreading like wildfire and we’re all pretty much fucked...Major sports leagues have been shut down, concerts canceled, and we‘re being told to avoid large gatherings. Probably by next week were all gonna be told to self quarantine and we’re not going to be able to leave our houses or wherever we are. Okay, that’s probably not gonna happen, but what if it did...what if we were confined to one space for a period of time and had to survive on only the materials in said space. Well, luckily for you I’ve put together a list of the best and worst places to get stuck in quarantine. Let’s take a look...

Best Places:


1.Sports Venue

You were probably thinking hospital would be number one on the list, well you’re wrong. Think about it, your essentially trapped in a space for a period of time and have to survive off the things around you. A sports venue would be the perfect spot. They would have plenty of frozen food considering they are used to holding thousands of people almost every night so you know that fridge and freezer is STOCKED. They obviously would have all the proper equipment for you to cook said frozen food in/on. You’d have almost an unlimited amount of supply of alcoholic and non alcoholic beverages. They have locker rooms so you can shower and brush your teeth daily. There’s plenty of bathrooms which means you know they are loaded up on TP. Most stadiums have gift shops which means you could probably find some blankets and pillows in there for when you wanna sleep. Another positive is that if you were smart and brought your PS4 you’ll be able to play it on a giant Jumbotron. imangine playing video games or watching movies on a giant screen?!? Talk about living the Dream.By the way we’re assuming the power is still on through all of this so take your “WeLl WhAt iF YoU dOnT HaVe PoWeR?” takes elsewhere. If I forced to go into quarantine let me live in the Wells Fargo Center for like a month and I promise you I will be fine.

2.Wholesale store(Costco, Sams Club, BJ’s)

Ever see Employee of The Month with Dane Cook? It’s a great movie and more importantly they built a sweet fort inside the store on the pallets. That’s just one reason why it would be a great spot to be in quarantine. Plus, you literally have everything you could need. When I walk into one of these stores its overwhelming with the amount of stuff in bulk that’s in there. From deodorant to batteries these stores have plenty to keep you occupied for the time your quarantined. Going back to Employee of the Month if it’s anything like that the store with have go karts and you can create your own track around the store. You’d be able to test out all of the new electronics they have, maybe find a hammock and relax in that, set up one of the giant tents they usually have and go camping. Only downside is they might not have showers in them but they will have plenty of shower stuff so I’m sure you could find a way to make it work.

3.Prison

“The worst part about prison was the dementors.” That’s right, call me crazy but prison might be one of the best/ safest places to be when quarantined. First your pretty much guaranteed meals everyday which is a huge bonus. Second your surrounded by guards and guns so if this Coronavirus starts turning people into zombies you have a decent chance of making it out alive. You probably won’t have to worry about any of the other inmates either since you‘ll technically be in quarantine so you won’t be able to have contact with any of them. You’d get your own cell and won’t have to worry about being with any of the hard criminals. From what I’ve heard they usually have some decent doctors in prison, so if you feel like your actually getting more sick you'll get taken care of. Sounds like a win-win to me and that’s why it’s number three on my list.


Worst Places:


1.Hospital

Why in the hell would you want to be stuck in a place where there are diseases everywhere. A hospital is the last place I’d want to be stuck at if I’m being quarantined. Yea, I know they have the best doctors and nurses there and they’d be able to help you more than anyone. That’s besides the point I’d rather take my chances being quarantined somewhere else than in a hospital with a bunch of sick peeps. Plus, they don’t usually have great food in hospitals. So no chance id want to eat my meals for an extended period of time in that joint.

*Side note-Shout out to all the doctors and nurses who are working their asses off durning this crazy time.They truly are the best and don’t get enough credit for what they do. *

2.Your Work

I already don’t like spending 40 hours a week at my job. I can’t imagine having to stay there until I was cleared of the Coronavirus. Most places of business aren’t typically prepared for someone being there multiple days in a row. Your supplies would be limited, you’d probably struggle to find a good spot to sleep, and I doubt you’d have any place to shower. There are sooooo many other places I’d rather be quarantined. Maybe your job is a place that’s better prepared for something like this, well mines not so you won’t find me choosing my office.

3.The Library

This would probably be the most boring of all the places to be in quarantine. I’ve seen the Day After Tomorrow and they get stuck in the library and it’s not great. Your food options would be limited to a vending machine if they even have one. There’d be no kitchen more than likely and good luck finding something other than water to drink. A good place to sleep? Yeah, doubt it. Forget about them having blankets and I gurantee that bitch is probably freezing. You might get lucky and they could have a fireplace so you could burn some books to stay sort of warm. Good news is you’d be able to watch some movies granted might have to be on VHS but I’d be better than nothing. It would be an absolute nightmare scenario to get quarantined inside of a library.

All kidding aisde, stay safe out there people wash your hands and don’t cough and sneeze all over and we should be fine. Hopefully if we do end up getting quarantined you’re more prepared than I am right now, cause I am far from stocked on everything I’d need to survive. Bottom line let’s all just hope this virus fades away sooner rather than later...stay safe Peeps.

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