• Keith Walsh

Red Hot Thoughts: Top 5 Hockey Movies of All Time

Back for another edition of #RedHotThoughts we're ranking the top 5 hockey movies of all time...This by far was the hardest top five I've ever done...There are so many great hockey movies out there that it was almost impossible to pick just five. I have no life, let's get that out of the way now, all these movies on the list I have seen waaayyyy to many times and I have no shame. For that reason, I feel like i'm pretty qualified to write this list. There was a lot to choose from and just about every type of hockey movie was considered(Yes, even the Tooth Fairy.....It didn't make the cut.) With there being so many options you can see why ranking the top five was extremely difficult. The easiest part of this list was which movie would be ranked number 1.....

1. Miracle(2004)

This should be no suprise to literally anyone. The greatest moment in sports history and probably the greatest sports movie of all time. An instant classic that will have you cheering, laughing and crying. A true underdog story of a bunch of cawlidge hawkey players coming together to take down those damn Soviets. One of the best aspects about this movie is just how realistic it is. Usually with movies that are telling a true story they tend to change a few things to give it more of a dramatic effect. That's not the case here with Miracle as there are only a few minor things that were tweaked for cinematic effect. If you're an American this should be at the top of your all time movie list if its not then you're clearly a Russian spy...If for some reason you've been in a coma for 16 years or have lived under a god damn rock and haven't seen this incredible film yet, do yourself a favor and go watch it now.

Best Quotes-"Why'd you wanna play College Hockey?!?"-Jack O'Callahan.

"I'm Ralph Cox,uhh I'm from wherever's not gonna get me hit."-Ralph Cox

"A bruise on the leg is a hell of a long way from the heart..you candy ass.-Herb Brooks

Best Scene-Bag skate scene aka Again scene after team USA ties in a tune up game before Olympics.

Worst Moment-Ralph Cox being the last guy cut from the team. Absolutely heartbreaking every time I watch it. Every time I know its coming but it never gets easier. Someone find an alternate version where he makes the team please..Thanks.

2. D2:The Mighty Ducks(1994)

This might surprise a few people but D2 is a fantastic movie. We get the birth of the Bash Brothers, the knuckle puck, and another USA team taking down a powerhouse. While it may not have been as big as the 1980 team taking down the Soviets, this fictional 1994 Junior Goodwill Games USA/Ducks team taking down Wolf Stanson and team Iceland is one of the great fictional sports moments. Typically in trilogy series the first is usually the best of the movies but thats not the case here with the Mighty Ducks. From Gordon Bombay going full Hollywood on the team and dating the enemy blonde hottie from team Iceland, to the inspirational Ducks fly together speech this movie has it all. Let's not forget about an epic game of post between Bombay and Wolf Stanson, or our first look at Wu Wu Kenny WU! The Ducks went through so many ups and downs in this movie it was only fitting that the final game came down to an epic shootout where Julie "The Cat" Gaffney made the glove save heard round the world on young superstar Gunner Stahl.

Best Quotes-"One more post and you go home crying. By the way, Stanson, you owe me a beachball.-Gordon Bombay

"And when the roosters are crowing and the cows are spinning circles in the pasture.."Dwayne Robertson

"Hey ref why don't you call something for crying out loud he almost took his arm off!"-Gordon Bombay

Best Scene-Ducks fly together speech after the 2nd period of the final game against Iceland.

Worst Moment-Bombays knee injury in the beginning and him getting slashed in the knee by Stanson in the game of post.

3. Goon(2011)

While it may not be that old it is still one of the best hockey movies out there. Sean William Scott plays Doug Glatt who is the worlds nicest tough guy out there. From a pure hockey standpoint it's not the best but when I say this movie is hilarious I mean this movie is fucking hilarious. Glatt is brought to the Halifax Highlanders to protect their star player and the entire movie is just him fighting the toughest guys in the league. Theres not much more to say without ruining anything if you haven't seen it. This one makes the list because it shows a little bit of a different side to what hockey guys are like.

Best Quotes- "69!! Take the number 69, It's hilarious!"-Pat

"Two rules man, stay away from my fucking percocets and do you have any fucking percocets."Marco Belchior

Best Scene-The final fight scene between Glatt and Ross Rhea.

Worst Moment-Doug Glatt blocking a slapper with his face then just getting wrecked with sticks to the grill.

4.Mystery Alaska(1999)

This is the most underrated hockey movie of all time and deserves so much more love than it gets. It has everything you could ask for in a hockey movie and its a true inspiration to beer league players around the world. A group of average joes that get together to play hockey every Saturday in front of their whole town get the chance of a lifetime as they get to play against the NHL's New York Rangers. It's an overall great story of how a group of underdogs come together to nearly pull off the biggest upset in sports history. Russell Crowe plays town sheriff and grizzled veteran of the Saturday game John Biebe. With Biebe leading the way this group of small town heroes play the game of their life putting on a great show for their hometown fans. Definitely check this one out if you haven't seen it yet.

Best Quotes-"I play hockey and I fornicate, 'cause those are the two most fun things to do in cold weather."-Skank Marden

"Did you say, "What the fuck-ass fuck of a bum-fuck shithole town is this?"-Bailey Pruitt

"You look like the back end of a moose. Sasquatch.""-John Biebe

Best Scene-Practice scene where they are trying to get Tree to play like the big defenseman he is and John tries to get him to hit him and Tree eventually does.

Worst Moment-The shot at the end of the game hitting the post which would have tied the game instead Mystery Alaska ends up losing to the Rangers

5.The Mighty Ducks(1992)

The original Mighty Ducks movie is an all time classic and easily had to be in the top five of hockey movies. We witness Gordon Bombay turning the lousy district 5 team into the lovable Mighty Ducks to take down those dreaded Hawks. What started as community service for Bombay after getting a DUI(Don't drink and drive people) turns into a story of a man finding himself and leading a group of kids that thought they sucked to becoming state peewee champions. To top it all off, not only do the Ducks and Bombay get the W, Bombay knocks off his former coach of the Hawks Coach Reilly. This movie has it all from start to finish and is one of those movies you can turn on at anytime and just enjoy.

Best Quotes-"It's not worth winning if you can't win big!"-Coach Reilly

"Quarter of an inch this way it would've went in, Charlie."-Gordon Bombay

"Cakeeater"-Jesse Hall

Best Scene-Charlie's breakaway in the championship game to win the state title.

Hope you enjoyed this edition of Red Hot Thoughts! Do you agree with my list? If not what's your top 5?

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